I’m married myself, but my marriage has never interfered with my hobbies. It’s not just financial concerns, but also time. When you’re single, you have tons of free time, but no money, but after you get married, you have a lot of money to afford even the finest golf clubs, but very little time. After my marriage, I haven’t felt any pressure to give up playing golf or video games to spend all my time with my wife. I know she knows that having separate parts of private lives, with separate hobbies is essential to successful marriage. If both of you spend all your time together, you won’t be able to appreciate it as much as if you let each other go out alone once in a while, and let yourselves miss each other a little more. Being together is so much better if you let each other go for a little while.

 And I get that taking care of kids is hard to do for anyone. In our society, that role is usually filled with women, and they do terrific job. But men, even if they work for a living, should know that it’s their duty to play at least some part in the job of bringing up children. So I guess what I’m trying to say, is that women deserve their alone time just as much as us, men do. So you need to figure out some kind of system that allows both of you to have all three of these – together-with-family time, alone-as-couple time, and alone-alone time. It might be a silly theory but I think having all three of these is the key to successful partnership. Here’s more about that.

 You also have to work on your language skills. There are wrong and right ways to ask your partner to let you go out and have fun while they take care of the kids. The wrong way is to go out even if they say no, or go out without asking them at all. The secret to asking something like that, is to be as accommodating to other person as possible. For example, giving your partner choices would be a good start. Like “would you prefer If I went out golfing now, or in the evening?” that way, she can arrange things to make her job easier, and she will be more mentally and physically prepared for the job of looking after kids all alone.

 If I had to give one advice, it would probably be to not cheat. You can turn off your phone and just go golfing whenever you want, but in my experience, that’s not a good way to sustain a relationship with someone. You have to look at the situation from both of your perspectives and do what makes sense for both of you, or else she might build resentment and that might finally end your relationship.